Hi as the writer of the Fantasy or Reality submission I would like to thank and congratulate the person who responded with such an intellect and thought provoking reply. It is responses such as this that makes this blog stand head and shoulders above the rest. As he states it’s not about the pictures, which as well all know can be found in abundance on many a tumblr site, but more importantly it is our desire to understand our emotional and psychological behaviour that is the driving and stimulating factors towards wive sharing.
The responder brings to light may different aspects between fantasy and reality and maybe I should have titled the posting as Risk / No Risk and this depends on who’s eyes we are looking through.
Yes we all know there are risks attached to everything we do whether that be a simple drive to the shops or taking the deepest of dives to the bottom of the oceans, but the point I was making is the risk a woman must consider towards MFM sex, especially if being (gently) pushed persuaded or even manipulated by her partner, will be based on the time, devotion, loyalty, motherhood, success, wealth, social standing etc, etc that she has invested in the relationship over the many years of time together.
I think it is fair to say that if the roles of sexuality were reversed and it was women pushing us men to participate in extra marital MFM sex then the response would undoubtedly and completely be different in that we’d jump in feet first without a second thought towards the risk we were taking as we cry “bring it on”
For sure the world would be a far more promiscuous place and the description ‘slut’ would truly apply to us men.
So as intelligent (well I’m sure many women would contest that description) and considerate men we are, who have undeniable lustful urges we have to look through the eyes of our women in order to find the button and solution that unleashes those lustful desires that lays buried deep in the souls of our partners.
We know those feelings are there, so how do you coax them out to play?
Do we approach it with the stick or with the carrot?
The stick is the manipulator, the push to fulfil our desires at the expense of the other and that’s where a woman will feel used and manipulated.
The carrot is the motivator and that’s where the secret lies in unlocking that desire.
Motivate someone and they themselves will justify the risk for the joy and the pleasures they are rewarded with.
When you think about it what is the difference between those women that swing and those that don’t?
The answer…. NOTHING other than their mindset and what they believe is right or wrong for them (high risk / low risk) In other words it’s a physiological difference and not a physical difference.
Change that mindset and you’ll change your woman and also change your life.
So the question is whether that change is for the better or for the worse…. And again that depends upon who’s eyes you view the risk through.
Reverse those roles of sexuality and the women could LOVE the attention of two or more guys and the man on the other hand could soon start feeling it’s a risk too far.
Are you prepared to let the genie out of the bottle?????
Excellent conversation going on here! I do think there’s a lot to be said for the idea that it’s a change in mindset. That there’s some pivotal way someone thinks about sexuality, their marriage or life in general. The question is how you help your partner to feel comfortable evolving.
Or at least that’s how I see it. So many of us feel like we’re supposed to do certain things and behave in certain ways. It’s more difficult for some than others do break form these conventions. I think it’s far more difficult for women because of double-standards, safety concerns and the mindfuck of being a sexual creature, wife and mother sometimes all at the same time.
Frankly, people find it hard to be more than one thing. How can I be a good mother if I like to give my husband blowjobs in public places? Of course you can but those are two different parts of your self and I think many people aren’t able to have the different parts live together.
And finally there is some risk in everything but I’d like to think there’s less of it with a truly committed marriage. I don’t know, better doing this then cheating which happens all to frequently. Is it more risky to deny your sexuality and desires? I think it might.
As for uncorking the bottle. I know I’m ready :) Looking forward to more conversations about this. The reasons why we want this and why we don’t follow-through on it are pretty interesting.